3.Feng Shui Tips:"breathe before you dive"

Now that we set the tone, it is time for a few words on the How before the What. So do not get mad at me, but this week we are not talking about rooms or pieces of furniture, we are talking about motives, disposition, moods and approach. I know that you want to go on, it is hard to stop and think after such a head-on start, but it is wise to do so now that we see what is going on. Hey, you might as well be enjoying your first changes in life, if you followed tips 1 and 2. So, while you enjoy your hall’s new look, follow me and trust the process, because I want to tell you something.

As a child, my mother used to rant about how an organised home leads to an organised mind: “order helps concentrating and saves time”, she said. She was right. Nonetheless, it took me forever to get myself together and follow her advice, and the reason is that I subconsciously perceived that something was excessive about her love for order, as in fact it was. See, my mother did not know she suffered from dyslexia and had troubles learning to read and distinguish left from right: no wonder that she needed to know where everything belonged, in order to keep herself safe in a chaotic world. Hence her yelling at my somewhat creative approach to housekeeping ¹.

A lot of people obsess about their environment as a way to control the inevitable in their lives. Rememeber American Beauty, the house of the officer²?

That is exactly what I am talking about. It is impossible to control everything, life simply is not under your control, so you should not allow your Feng Shui to become your obsession: it is good to keep your home tidy and your body fit, it is wrong to only talk about furniture and nutrition and to obsess about order, details and cleanliness, to refuse a dinner out with friends because you cannot drink wine. Give yourself a break. After all, some of the most balanced people I know have such a messy garage it is impossible to get in, yet their houses are neat and their lives pretty admirable. So, here is tip number 3: allow yourself to make mistakes and exceptions, experiment, take your time and remember that life is made of trials and errors and that perfection does not exist. Instead of an exception, I recommend you entitle yourself to an outlet you can use to unload and project your bad magic onto like a voodoo doll while you are practicing your FS, so not to let out the steam in the wrong place and time and vent onto your fellow human beings. Or the rest of your house, like I did in mine some time ago. But that is another story.

The reason is that we all have a dark side, our beast-like, animal, obscure part is always with us and never goes away. The Chinese knew that way before reading Stevenson’s The strange case of dr. Jekyll and mr Hyde, when they summed up the theory of opposites into a symbol: ð (just pretend it’s the Tao). So, what’s it to do with me gaff? I can hear you saying. The point is, my friend, that you cannot hide your dark side completely, you can either face it (which will only make you face an even darker one later and keep you improving) or sweep the dust under the carpet. You cannot solve everything and you cannot control life completely, but you can learn to take care of yourself, your home and your life and face events with serenity and a calm spirit, setting priorities and doing your best. That is powerful magic. Come back next week.

¹ Now that I look back, I can tell why she could not wait for me to move out: “You should go to college” she said “Nevermind where, no big deal. Just go, we will support you”. Poor ma. Love her very much.

² A soldier with a dealer son and a demented wife. In a shiny house though. Controlling house and housekeeper is a way to control himself and repress his homosexuality while pretending he is straight, unlike his son, who grew up a weirdo because of him. When he realises he is gay, he snaps and shoots Kevin Spacey, while the spooky son flees with K.S’s big-boobed daughter. Yes, that a spoiler. I have a dark side too.

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By Giulio Giandoso
Don Julio de LaPlaya

I will leave my CV-like rubbish to the trash bin: I believe I perceive the duality of life, with my personal blend of nihilism and self-motivation, irony and passion, activity and idleness, willlingness to achieve excellence and firm belief in the irrelevance of our earthly achievements, maybe sometimes a cold adult in my demenaour and a hands-clapping child in my deepest feelings and love for play. My favourite things are those moments of intense concentration and deeply experienced feelings, “being in the zone” when time freezes, energy moves freely and words, deeds and thoughts come together at once. It is then that I saw that time does not exist and change is really the only constant thing.

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I wanted change and I did not know where to start …

Thank you Julio! You simplified the beginning. I have started from my entrance, a changing of a bulb, a planted flower and a polished bell and I have experienced magically more light and colored petals shining inside me.